Instant Karma

I need to make an apology.

This past weekend, John Lennon would’ve been 71 years ago. He was killed by a horribly disturbed man with a gun in December, 1980. I didn’t appreciate Lennon like he deserved. I grew up in suburban Atlanta, Georgia. The conventional wisdom of my region at the time was John Lennon was a henpecked husband, has been artist, annoying commie hippie who was vastly overrated. The more I think about it, and the more time educates, the same things could be said about me. Well, I’m not a has been anything. I’m more of a wannabe or never was. Lennon’s attitude of everyone just getting along seemed trite and impossible.

A lot of bloggers use their sites to make themselves look good or inflict damage on others. When 30 days of Shameslessness came about a couple of months ago, I saw “talk about some crap that was done to you” and rubbed my hands together like a silent movie villain. The truth is, I don’t care about the crap that was done to me. Those people have to look in the mirror, hope there’s a reflection, and figure out a way to live with their guilt.

I was in the car with my 8 year old at the end last week, either Thursday or Friday, and John Lennon’s Instant Karma came on an oldie radio station. She kept flipping the stations, almost stayed on a Katy Perry abomination, and instead, she went back to Lennon. She didn’t say anything, she just listened. I wondered if she remembered I played Lennon’s music when she was a baby and sang his songs, along with the other Beatles’ when she was a baby. During her first three years of existence, I dealt with a crumbling marriage and horrors after leaving it. Last year, at this time, I went through another bad experience and leaned on The Beatles and Lennon’s solo stuff.

John Lennon wasn’t supposed to die. He was happy when he was gunned down. He had repaired his marriage to Yoko. He was a good father after being a bad one for many years. His Double Fantasy album was getting critically acclaim. He was only 40 years old, basically the same age I am now. John, if you read blogs from Heaven, I want to say, I’m sorry for waiting 30 years to really honor you and your amazing art.

Yesterday, I wondered, if something happened to me would I be okay with what I’ve done and how I’ve done it. For the first time in my 41 years, I can honestly say yes. Can you?

****blogger’s note****

Because of a new, awesome, writing assignment for http://viehebdomadaires.wordpress.com/contact-us/ I am slightly behind on new Helene Troy and Indie Ink. I’m combining the two and you will see it tomorrow morning, pinky swear. Here is my new post for viehebdomadaires: http://viehebdomadaires.wordpress.com/2011/10/10/catwoman-and-batman/

 

Today’s song is John Lennon being poignant, sarcastic, and straight. Here’s Instant Karma.