I can’t think of anything to write from a personal point of view. The reality is, my life is fiction. I know some of you click this page to read the serialized fiction I’ve invested so much of my time. While others tell me that they wait for that one personal post of the week where I detail some level of hijinks with my wife and three daughters. Well, right now those four women are a disappointment. They’ve been boring. They’re doing what they’re supposed to and being great people. How dare they NOT think of My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog?
Adam “MCA” Yauch of the Beastie Boys died Friday after a three-year battle with cancer. He was two months shy of his 48th birthday. That makes him just six years older than I. Mortality in your forties is very daunting. Beastie Boys are my ninth favorite band of all-time but I was even more of a fan of Adam Yauch, the man. Yauch did something I’ve rarely seen among popular musicians. He aged gracefully. After introducing himself to the world as a beer swilling obnoxious gravel-voiced lout in 1986, he evolved. The man who died two days ago was a learned one. He studied eastern philosophy, became a Vegan Buddhist, married, and became a committed father.
Watching and hearing him perform was a lesson in adult artistry rather than a spectacle in suspended adolescence. I can’t stop listening to my favorite Beastie Boys albums, Paul’s Boutique and Ill Communication, their hip hop masterpiece and great rock record respectively.
Being my age, 41, comes with some rules. I don’t like rules, but I know they’re there. I can’t just leave a stressful day behind with booze or latenights or without obligation. My wife and daughters have me around for many reasons, and being an irresponsible jackass isn’t one. Adam Yauch’s early death and the precipice of finishing my first book have made me very introspective and, quite frankly, scared. I wonder if I can age gracefully and be the kind of man Yauch succeeded in being, someone comfortable in their own skin who gave as much as he received.
To nod to Yauch and his now Rock and Roll Hall of Famed inducted group, I’m “sure shot” about something. I won’t stop writing and it’s a pleasure to share this small corner of the internets with each of you who read.
May I admit that I am one of those who looks forward to your reality posts….
Also, yeah – being in your 40′s messes with your mind with all that mortality stuff. Totally.
Have a great weekend making more memories. Tell those girls to give you some good fodder!
exactly…stop being so good daughters, screw up, tick me off, come on!
thank you
You could write about them from a different perspective, instead of making wishes you don’t want to come true winkZ
I was fortunate to see him at Bonnaroo 2009 with sperk. You are as much of a man as Adam was. I love your writing and it is a pleasure to know a true man and father.
Noonerblast
awesome that you got to see him before he got sick. I saw them in 1987 during the first album.
thank you for kind words.
You don’t see it, but you’re already head and shoulders above your peers. You are incredibly introspective. You have clarity of mind at your most trying times. You are brave with your words. You are grounded and have a gratitude for your blessings where others our ages are mired in “I deserve…” and “I want, I want, I want” For every fault you see in yourself, you have 10 pieces of gold in your pocket. And you’re an awesome friend.
coming from you, that’s amazing. I volley those words to you. You have shown me the kind of friend I stopped believing in. thank you.
When you go personal, you do it with style.
and you write about bleach like a champ.
thank you so much
I really liked this post, Lance. I like what you said about suspended adolescence. And I love the Beasties.
well, you tend to get me, as of late, anyway. thanks Lisa
Really good post. I have been thinking about him a lot, and not that I was a huge Beastie Boys fan, cuz while I admired them I was never a die hard. But I sure saw the artistry, and as I had read some about him over the past several years, from his religion exploration to his activism, you couldn’t help but admire the guy. I am in my 40s and seeing someone only a few years old than me go is really unsettling. Losing an artist at any age is always tragic.
yeah, the 40s mortality thing is major. His death is hitting me hard. Thanks for being a good friend and for commenting.
That picture with his daughter just breaks my heart.
I agree with Deus, you are plenty introspective and thoughtful – this post is a perfect example.
i was sad about hearing Adam die. when I saw that picture, I kinda lost it. Its so easy to relate to someone around your same age with a young daughter.
thank you Carrie
yeah yeah just don’t stop
ugh, but wordpress, stop sending me emails! let’s see if this works.
love ya lance.
backatacha yo
‘cuz You Can’t, You Won’t And You Don’t Stop
Always tough when a contemporary dies … much too young. Damn cancer just doesn’t discriminate.
Good post, Lance.
eden
yeah, cancer doesn’t care. thanks for reading and comemnting Eden. You’re aces.
I know we have different tastes in music, we discovered that a long time ago. I do admire your ability to climb inside your heart and dip your pen for us. Whether you are writing about personal times, or adding to your ongoing stories, your spirit shines through. Angst ridden, serious loving, writer… above all things, you are a writer. I look forward to your posts from any angle. whispers but you know I have my favorites
ha! thanks you for the comments. the angst makes for some decent posts sometimes. thank you k
I grew up on the Beastie Boys. Once I was listening to them when my first husband looked at me and seemed frightened. I should have known then that wasn’t going to work.
my current wife doesn’t care for them but she at least has the good sense to know why I dig them. Yeah, you should have put that dude in the road immediately. In many states, anti-Beastieality is grounds for divorce.
Anti-Beastieality is a term you don’t often hear, and best appreciated in written form.
Indeed, I think his passing is having such a cultural effect not only because of his artistic talents, but also because of the exceptional person he was in other ways.
Excellent post.
welcome back sarah! thank you
You know I like the personal posts, but good lord, I can’t think of anything to write lately either. I also don’t write fiction, so I’m totally SOL. However, you just keep going
I also wasn’t a big Beastie Boys fan (don’t hate me.) But I am a big Lance fan, so rock on.
and I’m an Abs fan too. thank you. Bobina doesn’t like the Beasties either and I still like her.
Yup. I wait for personal
And I love how you weave personal family and personal interests into one. Rest well, Adam. 
well, then I’m glad I could deliver…almost as much as I’ll Have Another
Peace old man!
Sorry…the man you speak of was AMAZING. What he did for music (can’t deny how Fight For Your Right opened up hip hop to poor white dudes!) let alone the change he made in the world. He was an awesome example of evolution and was called forth for bigger and better things. (In my fairy tale world, anyway) Enjoy the slow rolling weekend, btw…if you’re bubble is anything like mine, you will not be long without fodder from your pen! Hug them, love them, and pray the beast we call muse doesn’t use them too roughly 
thanks. you defintely get this “process” in our writer heads.
One of the things I’ve always liked about you is that we are the same age. I get this. I didnt follow any of the beastie boys, but then I dont really follow anyone’s life stories much, but just from your words, I feel the loss. Thanks for always putting it out there, Lance.
There’s never a lack of fodder here, and now with 2 teenage boys taking over my house, there’s even more. I’m just not finding the time to sit and write like I want to. *sigh* My muse is threatening mutiny.
hang in there and write when you’re ready. your talent will shine.
You are too good to me. I have tons of catching up to do, both here and on my serials.
I actually cried when I heard of his passing. I have a most fabulous memory of an all night bus trip from Ontario to NYC at age sweet 16 – and blaring No Sleep Till Brooklyn all the way. I am one week away from age 41…and that just seems far too young to be watching my musical legends die. How often do we have heroes who are incredible visionary artists, as well as being exceptional people of great spirit and compassion? just too rare indeed.
i was very emotional,. the most broken up id been since Kurt Cobain died. Thanks for your great comment and for finding the blog.
I was a huge Beastie Boys fan too – kind of defined my young adulthood. What a perfect tribute to Adam. I love the way he stepped out of his “fighting to party” persona and into a Zen buddhist who apologized for “Girls.” You don’t see that a lot.
yep…the apologies for their youth is a sign of not only growing up buit also an advanced artist. thanks mama
What a great tribute to Adam Yauch. The hubby and I are Beastie Boy fans and even our children are learning to love them. We all love doing the dance moves to “Shake your Rump”!!! This week seems to have brought a lot of reflecting with it.
i cant stop listening to Paul’s Boutique. thanks for stopping by suzi. Its a sad weekend.
thanks jenna
Thank you for writing this! I had no idea that Adam Yauch grew up and stopped being a Beastie Boy! I pictured that the man who died was still drinking 40s.
PS, I look forward to your personal posts, too.
thanks amanda. hope you feeling better.
And it’s a pleasure to read(s)… =]
thanks t, as always
I liked this bit of reality from you; it was thoughtful and introspective, and I agree with you about Yauch. His death definitely gave me pause.
he will be missed. thanks for coming by and commenting, Emily
If you’re self-aware enough to write this, you’re on your way, hon. Yauch was a great guy, and he did set a great example of a rockstar aging with grace.
yeah, i feel better today after reading what I wrote. and thank you, suga
It was a rough week- Adam and Junior. I’ll be 43 in a few days so I feel like I grew up with these guys.
So many stories, so many thoughts. He did what we are supposed to do, Adam that is. He grew.
yeah, that was my whole point, He was a treu artist. He matured and his art got better as he did.
His death has hit me hard. I think because I’ve always considered him a peer and it’s weird when someone our own age dies. It struck a chord of fear in me; especially since cancer is more and more common than ever. The Beastie Boys were my first concert, I own all their cds and my life isn’t going to be the same now that they won’t be putting out music. Can we even call what they do music? It’s pure art. Great post!
Hi Melissa. Yeah, obviously i feel the same. The Beasties evolved and became very worthwhile to several genres. Adam was such a good human being that it feels unfair he’s gone. thanks for commenting.
I’m a few (okay – a LOT) years older than you, and most (all?) of those who comment here. I’ve gone through the angst of the members of my fave youth band (dare I say the Beatles here?). Now I am watching and reading about dear friends going through life-altering events and death. It never gets easier. But it is tough to see someone so young – who is so loved – who loves so much go on before us. Thank you for sharing your words and as much of yourself as you do.
thanks Barbara, and glad we found each other on the book of faces. Can’t wait to share my new 100 words with you at velvet’s place.
Well said my friend. I was nine years old when I discovered the Beastie Boys, and it shaped much of my music love for years to come. Not because of what they sang, but how they did it. They took risks, and they played with more heart than most bands could ever dream of mustering. When I saw them perform in 2004, they played with as much gusto as they had when I was a child. Because they made music they believed in, and they brought their passion to the stage. But Adam was more than a musician, as you said. He was a good person, and he brought that too. He will be missed. And his music will forever live on in my collection.
perfect comment. He was more than a musician.
I am one of the people that stalks you out for those personal blog entries – maybe it was a blessing that the fam was lame this week –
It forced you to look inside yourself and think about (and tell us) about your fears;)
thank you all the way around. I dig your blog too.
Here’s hoping your daughters do something ridiculous this week that inspires a new post!
me too, thanks
What a great tribute to him this was – thanks for writing it. I loved that photo of him as dad with his daughter.
PS: Time to force an interesting situation onto your girls this week so they can give you some blog-fodder! (-: Surprise them with something. One time my dad set up an elaborate UFO sighting thing – lights, sounds – everything – and came running in the house sweating in the middle of the afternoon – this was totally unlike him. By the time he was finished even my grown up cousin was crying with fear. It was all a hoax, and if my dad had had a blog – would’ve been BLOG FODDER. Catch my drift? (-:
yeah, it’s time for drastic measures. keep the suggestion coming. thanks for reading/commenting. you’re awesome
Love this tribute, but I am going to need to see that list of your top ten bands. That sounds like a great blog post!! I would read, retweet, and share. No lie. Bring it along with your insights and rationale. Erin
Yes. Definite sadness. I have so much respect for Adam and the other Beasties. They’ve all grown up into men, husbands, and fathers (well, at least two of them are in the Dad’s club). It’s nice to be able to respect a beloved artist, as it is so rare, at least on this level. And don’t worry, you’re already evolving. You don’t need to be a vegan Buddhist to prove it. We see you being responsible and loving every time you share a piece of your life with us.
wonderful comment venus, thanks
So sad about Yauch. I’m sorry it’s left you a bit shaken.
Nice introspective post. Interesting thing about age. I’m older than you, and while I do think about aging, I didn’t at 42. I wonder if having kids causes you to think about it earlier than you might? It’s not right or wrong, just different. 48 is ridiculously young to die as Adam did. Now that is sad. I enjoyed your thoughts.
thank you. yes, having kids does this for me. My oldest is 16. when I was 16, I first got into the Beasties Boys. since I turned 40, age has been on my mind a lot.
You really write from you heart when you post something about your life. I admire how passionate and appreciative you are about your girls and wife. Way to think positive about the future and how to take it on. You rock.
thank you mel
SO young.I didn’t know he died. So sad.
My husband is 40, me 33. (I’ve got a just a few more years to claim my 30′s!), but it is a strange feeling to realize we are in another generation now. It seems like I’m reminded of this more and more. Sometimes I forget the 90s were nearly 25 years ago. Yikes. My 14 year old loves to remind me I’m not cool or funny. Sigh…
Hi Adrienne, followed you back on the twitter. I’m almost 42, my wife is 35. We have 3 girls, one of which is 16. she reminds me of how old I am every day.
adam’s death was sad but also full of perspective
I’m another who looks forward to your reality posts. I can’t believe that you live in a house with so many females and nary a story. That’s got to be some kind of a record. Haha!
there are plenty of stories i just need new ones. thanks
What a lovely post, Lance. It’s enlightening. Please continue writing if it makes you, you. I love how passion brings out the best of a person.
thank you jamey
I feel the same way about mortality in your forties. I’m 42 and even though the Beastie Boys of late are different than the Beastie Boys of my high school days, I still felt like a part of my youth died. Plus there’s always this voice in your head that says, “no way, that’s way too young” or “he/she was only X years older than I was.” I had this same feeling about the passing of Junior Seau last week, too. He was only a year older than me. Then there is the fact that up until now, when people passed, they were always much, much older and they were born far, far earlier than we were.
Nice post. You captured what I was thinking.
great comment. obviously, great minds think alike, Kathy.
RIP Junior
When I was 15 years old, I never thought I would be using “mourning mortality” and The Beastie Boys in the same sentence. This post hit the mark, but then again, it is something you have a knack for doing, again and again. (And good lord, keep being boring Girls! I feel like I need to throw salt over my shoulder of something.) Ellen
that’s what my wife says. But boring kids make for boring blog. we both know the blog is more important.
thanks
I figured out that I can use Twitter to comment since WordPress hates me (sidenote: fuck you, WordPress). Adam was an amazing artist and an incredible person. I truly mourn his passing, and your tribute was beautiful, my friend.
Also? (Since I’m making up for lost comment time) I will admit that I enjoy the “day in the life of Lance and his ladies” post the most, your fiction always engages me as well. =)
thanks for coming by to catch up. Yeah, I think I’ll miss Adam’s example as much as his art. How many musicians or famous people can you say that about? thanks Kat…oh and Go Devils…
“I can’t just leave a stressful day behind with booze or latenights or without obligation. My wife and daughters have me around for many reasons, and being an irresponsible jackass isn’t one.”
Great tribute to MCA.
LOVE THIS. You are a good man
ha! interesting you got THAT from thsi post…but thank you .
His death took the wind out of me. I thought about my husband, about myself. I really appreciated reading your perspective.
“a lesson in adult artistry rather than a spectacle in suspended adolescence.” What a perfect description.
thanks Mom. I’ve been listening to Adam’s work a lot since last Friday. He did so much.
Lance, you’re already graceful and amazing in the many endeavours you pursue. Be it fiction, non-fiction, sharing your passion for music, sharing your passion for fatherhood. I only know you through your words, but I think I can safely say the man who writes My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog is one awesome guy.
RIP Adam
thanks for your wonderful comments Katie. Im honored
Dying in my forties isn’t something I would dig doing. I know this doesn’t sound like an epiphany, but the reality is that I wouldn’t miss me as much as my kids would miss me. I’m not as afraid of dying as I am of disappointing them. Is that odd?
WG
http://itsmynd.com
nope….i think the same way. being in our 40s is a median age where we’re supposed to start thinking that way.
thanks
I love your reality posts and man you got my vote this week!!
thanks posh. that means the world to me.
Great post! Love BB and was sad to hear the news this week.
Pushing 40 myself. Many new thoughts about that every day :/
yeah, I’m a tick over 40 and obviously in the same mindframe. thank you.
My husband loves the Beastie Boys, too. I do too, but I don’t know almost all the lyrics like he does, which I find amusing.
You are awesome. You know that, right? You’re a good egg.
thanks, and right back atacha
It’s sad and frightening when we hear of people dying so young. A guy my age, knew him since kindergarten died 1 day after I turned 34 (12 days after he did). Anniversary is coming up – very scary thoughts… Also, love your personal posts. They are always so honest and real.
thanks horrible. im so sorry.
thank you for the comepliments.
There’s been a lot of that mortality crap going on around here. Sucks.
I did not know those things about the dearly departed Beastie Boy. I’m glad I know now. May he rest in peace.
hi jen…thanks for stopping by
Great tribute to MCA. You are right, he was definitely a rarity who reinvented himself not for fame and fortune, like many other artists, but purely to better himself. He will be missed.
thanks dude…you defintely said it a great way.
I was hoping you were heading the Beasties way with the “Sure Shot” title linked up with Yeah Write. The evolution of this group truly amazed me, and like Jay, I’ve got to agree, the motivation seemed intrinsic, which made him even more of a role model. RIP MCA
great comment. “The motivation seemed intrinsic”. That was beautiful
thank you
That was quite simply one of the most beautiful things you’ve written. I have NO DOUBT that everything you want to be, you already are…and I feel so lucky to share this small space with you as a reader of your magnificiant words.
thank kir, you’re too kind