Violet

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Last time with Soul To Body: http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/tighten-up/

Mallory’s eyes never left Jake as she walked away from their long kiss and unlocked her car. Jake alternated between the wild abandon of tasting a woman other than his late wife, Camille, and feeling like the circumstances were wrong. He ignored the questions in his mind about Mallory and mingled with the adrenaline his body was pumping.

The smell of blooming Georgia dogwoods relaxed Jake until his cell phone played the Hole song Violet. It signaled that his sixteen-year-old daughter was calling. He leaned against his black Chevy Blazer and stared at kudzu creeping up a nearby utility pole.

“Hi Vi, how’s school so far today?”

The first three seconds of silence were ominous. Violet was only quiet when she was angry or sad.

“Dad, you’re not at work. I called there first because you always tell me to call your work before calling your cell phone.”

Jake thought about telling her about meeting with Mallory but he was feeling too good about himself. The beeping horns of midday Atlanta traffic weren’t allowing for an alibi.

“Baby, I went to grab something to drink.”

Violet huffed and Jake felt his chest tighten.

“Dad, its early release today because of exams. I’m at home. So, should I guess what you’re really doing.”

Jake turned away from the greenery of the Starbucks parking and wiped a the thick film of pollen off his driver’s side door handle.

“Violet,  I don’t have to tell you every move I make. But, I met with Mallory. “

He opened the SUV’s door and the heat from inside hit him with a suffocating intensity. Violet’s crying over a wild, eerie silence burned him further.

“This totally sucks, dad! It sucks! I’m going to Davey’s!”

Jake’s fingertips on his right hand singed from the heated metal of the ignition as he cranked the car. Pollen fell on the windshield. He swallowed hard.

“No, you’re not Vi! I’ll call work and come home!”

Violet ended the call. Jake punched the dashboard.

****blogger’s note****

This is a new story episode of Soul To Body. You can find the rest of the story, so far, here: http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/soul-to-body/ It is also a response to the “Wild” one word prompt from Trifecta Writing’s weekly 333 word challenge  http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/ I used it twice.

Today’s song is obvious. Hole’s Violet fits the mood and gives us a chance to bask in Violet’s teenage angst and anguish. Here’s some 90s grunge:

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40 thoughts on “Violet

  1. aarrrggghhh! painful.

    also, i honestly am very surprised to see this song by Hole here. i like that record a lot, but i would have thought you did not! :)

  2. I get the feeling that the Universe offered up an opportunity for Jake to rethink the speed with which he approaches Mallory. I can see him choosing to stay with Mallory, if the feeling was “right” in the first place, but coupled with his own anxiety about the decision his choice was to go. He and Violet will have to deal with the idea that he will eventually move on to live his life, but I think the pause was a good one.

  3. Hmmm… so what I’m wondering is this… (and I’m sure I’ll learn as the story unfolds) is Vi opposed to Jake & Mallory hooking up just because he’s her dad and he shouldn’t be hooking up so soon (or ever?)? Or is she as mistrustful of Mallory as I am?

  4. TheKirCorner

    A girlfriend with a past, a broken and sad teenage daughter, a dad who is still a man and missing his wife. CHECK, CHECK, CHECK. Looks like a Lifetime movie to me.(I don’t watch them!! LOL)

    I liked the descriptions of the the pollen and the flowers crawling up the pole and him against the truck, trying so desperately to decide what to say to her. 2 women he answers to, and you feel that in this, you feel that pull of love of a daughter and lust of something more.

    all of a sudden I don’t want to make up excuses for Mallory.

  5. Loved the line about the Georgia dogwoods. I hate the smell of dogwoods under a hot sun, so I was immediately placed in the scene. I also hate Mallory, so there’s that ;) Poor, poor Violet.

  6. Did you mean to have a question mark here? . “So, should I guess what you’re really doing.” Or was the period an indication that she wasn’t really asking at all? I have to say, they BOTH need therapy. (Which is perfect for a story.) I want to pick her up by the elbows and tell her a teen romance isn’t the same as an adult one, and her going over to Davey’s has nothing to do with her Dad and Mallory, and her dad isn’t acting just to piss her off, and … yeah. I really like Jake. I really hate his kid right now.

  7. I’m the opposite of Jessie with this. I don’t like jake much or how he is behaving. It is one thing when a relationship ends badly and you need to move forward but Camille was his love, his memories of her are tarnished while he behaves this way. Jake needs to think of his kid more than his need for whatever Mallory is giving him (and to me, she’s giving him nothing but trouble!) vi lost her mom, she needs her dad to just be there, be her dad, not off searching for a mom replacement or something.

    Don’t get me wrong. I still love the story. It’s full of emotion and tension and the plot is great. In fact, it’s a good thing when a character isn’t liked. Means you’ve managed to get under a readers skin. :). I just hope jake wakes up and realizes what is important before really bad things happen.

    • Carrie, you make great points. Jake’s lonely, lacks confidence, and has so much pressure on him. Mallory is preying on his emotional state. He needs to be clear headed but doesn’t have the capability. You’ve broken this down perfectly. Thanks for liking it so much….

  8. Everyone gets so weepy about single moms (I was one, I know that “look” I got when mentioning my divorce), people forget responsible single dads. Jake is caught between two women, and daughter vs. girlfriend is very easy. There is that jealousy in his daughter’s heart of having to “share” dad and his time… I’m going to be patient and watch this spin out, but it’s all intriguing, Lance. Nice write! Peace, Amy

    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/05/23/wp-restores-choices-and-poem/

  9. One of the things I really enjoy about your writing is your details and imagery. A perfect example (and things like this you always include) was “Jake turned away from the greenery of the Starbucks parking and wiped a the thick film of pollen off his driver’s side door handle.” I can see him doing this. I do this on the phone in a heated conversation. You fiddle or pace. Great work, Lance!

  10. Thanks for linking up with Trifecta this week. I love that you’ve managed to include yet another one of our prompts into your long tales. This piece feels a bit different from the others you’ve shared with us. I love the attention to detail you give us here. You really worked hard at setting the scene, and I think it makes for a really enjoyable read. Hope to hear more from you soon.

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