Finger numbness and hand twitches signaled Tom, that the pills hadn’t taken effect. He used his left elbow to press the elevator button. The polished steel showed beads of sweat around his graying temples. The door opened and four women recognized him. Tom’s only response was a superfluous smile that showed his entire mouth. They returned in kind. The one to the far left of the elevator, almost six-feet-tall, with tangled black hair and alabaster skin, spoke first.
“The mysterious Agent Tom Smith from FirstAvailableAgent.com!”
He closed his eyes and hoped the ride to the first meeting didn’t kill him, inside.
“Yeah, that’s me, just Tom. Hi Kale, I mean, The Waitress….”
Kale smiles and touched his right arm. A shorter, stockier woman leaned over and pressed the L button. They started their descent. She gestured to herself and the other three women.
“I’m Glenda the Mom Witch, that’s Nora aka Bloggerina, and Shannen aka I Reek Of Geek. I guess you’re going to the How To Be A Dude In Chick World seminar?”
The door opened. They turned away from his response. Tom muttered something about catching up with them later. They giggled and gossiped about him as though he weren’t standing inches away. He followed them into the hotel lobby. The women scampered like loose puppies, laughing and talking.
“That means they like you. In a place with five-thousand female bloggers and, like, nine guy ones, anytime someone speaks to you, its affection.”
The sarcasm oozed like motor oil from a wrecked sports car. Tom knew he’d run into the person he came to see. He eyed a short-haired brunette carrying a tumbler of amber liquid in her right hand and her wife’s arm in her left. Tom answered.
“Justine, they’re clever little birds, they darted away every time I came near, tittering their amusement at my discomfiture.”
She smiled, moved away from her companion, then pulled him in for a hug.
“I love the heart in your words, Tom.”
****blogger’s note****
This is my response to Trifecta Writing’s “heart”
http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/
and another prompt.
For the Scriptic prompt exchange this week, Jester Queen gave me this prompt: Clever little birds, they darted away every time I came near, tittering their amusement at my discomfiture..
I gave FlamingNyx this prompt: Her fingers gripped the only jagged rock available when an arm appeared….
Jester Queen’s Twitter is @jesterqueen and FlamingNyx’s Twitter is @FlamingNyx. When you tweet about your post, please include their information.
Today’s song is something I use for my anxiety moments and with how I write. I can’t believe I’ve never used it over the two plus years of blogging. I thought it fit Tom’s mindset and trifecta’s prompt. Here’s Eve 6′s Inside Out which has the great line “heart in a blender”.
Vivid characters, vivid scene, intriguing premise–but watch the tense changes!
yes ma;’am. my wife and I made some edits
yup, I was going to comment on the tense slips near the beginning
Besides that, this is really neat Lance. It felt real and authentic, like how many people probably feel at a blogger conference (man or woman)
thanks carrie. i made some edits
Haha! That’s AWESOME. Now I know what a ‘female blogger-type’ is. I actually thought they were totally plausible characters (noticed the tense shifts, too, and with three of us nagging, you may start to feel like your own character). I also loved the subtle sense that Tom has underlying health issues to make everything even worse.
i was worried you wouldnt like it because it;’s not overtly literary. But thank you
Nah – it doesn’t have to be overtly literary. I read all kinds of everything and there is very little (genre-wise) that I don’t enjoy. This is a delightful peek into his rather pained conference trip.
I’m also from the school that these prompts are meant to challenge and surprise. I’m not putting mine out there with any expectations of what will happen to them. I usually run with a line or scenario that pops into my head. If I’d used that one, it would have been set in a bird sanctuary with some real birds or something. This was MUCH MUCH more fun.
awesome
I love your use of Jessie’s prompt. When I read it I was… wondering “Now where did he get a line like that?” I found this amusing. I also loved “The women scampered like loose puppies” and thought this was a fun positive metaphor, at least they weren’t compared to tight puppies. The puppies in question must not be poodles.
thanks marie. i had no idea what to do w jes’s prompt until this light went on. i meant it all as playful.
I loved this one from top to bottom. Poor Tom, I wanna hug him too.
Enjoyed it thoroughly.
thanks ruby, I liked yours too
LOL, I love how you wove Jessie’s prompt for you into that story. Nice job Lance!
thanks k
You must have been to a blog conference before… it is exactly like this.
nope never have and likely never will. But thanks for the compliment.
That line of the song always got to me too. Nice work.
thanks annabelle
Awesome way to work in the prompt! I’m also a fan of the loose puppies line. It’s funny, being a woman in IT I’ve felt this way at conferences mostly attended by men (though that was years ago now… much better representation of the ladies in my niche now). I think you nailed it.
thanks venus
Nicely done!
I loved the names of their blogs too. Nice touch.
thank you….linda
I love how believable your characters always are. I could see this happening at any blogger convention. There are a lot of women who post about being female at gaming cons; I don’t know that I’ve read the opposite perspective!
wow, what a nice compliment. i want my characters to be believable. thanks.
Seriously – I always feel like you are writing about people you know. You have a real knack for that, which I envy greatly.
thanks Christine. you’re killing it at your place too
This was really fun, especially with all the chatter about Blogher of late. I loved the archetypal blogger women. Awesome. Thanks for playing along with us again. We hope to see you back soon.
I have never been to a blog conference but today, I feel as if I had been. That’s good writing, Lance.
thansk mama