Today’s the 66th birthday of one of my musical idols, David Jones, aka David Bowie. A true visionary, Bowie changed music in the 1970s, then carved his own path into becoming one of the greatest artists on the 20th century, touching acting, videography, directing, fashion, painting, and writing. What you’re about to read is 100 words of a new episode of Soul To Body, my serialized short story about a grieving man who recently lost his wife to cancer, is raising a teenage daughter, and is trying to figure out his life, one mistake at a time. I implore you to go check out a David Bowie Greatest Hits CD or one of his landmark records – Hunky Dory, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (my favorite), Aladdin Sane, Diamond Dogs or anything else the man put out. It might change your life. It will definitely enrich your mind, soul and body.
Here’s my 100 word song for Bobina’s Same Old Lang Syne http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/100-word-song-same-old-lang-syne/ , Velvet Verbosity’s “Dust” http://www.velvetverbosity.com/2013/01/08/100-words-dust-wind/ , and Trifecta Writing’s “Intention” http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/01/trifecta-week-fifty-nine.html .
Jake stared at the tabletop as Mallory’s lips pressed his. He took his hand off her back to grasp its underside. With the intention of finding an uncluttered part to lay her down, he pushed the chair they were in past their plates of chinese food. He glanced at a layer of dust on his hand. Mallory purred through a laugh.
“It’s okay if you we get a little dirty.”
Paralyzed by the realization that months earlier, when she was still alive, Camille was the last person to clean the table, Jake whimpered.
“We can’t do this. We’re stealing time.”
This week, David Bowie gave an interview, where he revealed the real story behind his classic, Heroes,http://performingsongwriter.com/david-bowie-songs/ was about a forbidden relationship between one of his band members and a German girl. This makes Heroes a great song for today’s post.
I hope that Camille’s family walks in and kicks her skanky ass out. Oh and great writing.
I love Deana’s comment. I second that emotion!
Loved the last line-a cry for help-but for what?Deliverance from the pain of losing his wife or because he is scared of loving & living again?Only you,the author can tell us curious readers:-)
Love David Bowie. And that last line? Intriguing.
Your romp scene would never work in real life for me and my wife because the dusty table would horrify her and ruin the mood in a heartbeat.
Good switch of moods, however, for such a short piece of writing. Well done.
David Bowie <333
Just dump her ass on the floor, come on! D:<
Yeah, I wouldn’t mess with Deana either. Day-um girl!
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What’s a little dust? But in this situation, I’m with Deana.
Awesome story. As someone who proofreads all the freakin’ time, I just wanted to let you know that I found a typo: ““It’s okay if you we get a little dirty.” Keep writing and best of luck with your entry. It amazes me how much story and emotion people manage to pack into so few words.
I love the inner conflict here, between the old and the new, as well as the heart and the body.
Love your choice of video
Deana’s comment made me laugh. I hope he doesn’t go through with it. If he’s conflicted then it’s just not right…either timing or person.
I agree. Terrific last line leaves the reader wanting to know more.
kick her out! kick her out! *starts a chant*
small critique: that last sentence before Jake speaks the final line is a tad wordy. I’d try to redo it, maybe break it up into two sentences or something.
Wonderfully refreshing even through the dust!
I’m thinking that the dust could make the table especially slippery. Perhaps, this could be the basis for Jake’s very prudent decision? On the other hand, knowing that I am out-voted by a bazillion to one, this could also be the reluctant acknowlegement by Jake that this is not an appropriate relationship and that he should (to paraphrase Bo) kick her skanky ass out!
Poor Jake, just wants a little fun but there seems to be too many obstacles. Both on and beneath the surface.
Loved the story, but the comments have me in stitches! Lance, the fact that you can arouse such intense responses from people in just one hundred words speaks volumes! Bravo!