I thought about what my small part of the world would be like if I wasn’t in it, today. This would be revelation, a cry for help, for someone else, but when you have mental illness, it’s called Monday. Being bi-polar is like this, especially when you cycle into the depression part.
A man whose world was a bit larger because of fame attributed to his grand talent and amazing career did the same, but he followed through, taking his own life. Robin Williams is gone, and it’s because he had a disease of the mind he couldn’t cure with great humor or unique artistic talent.
Williams is listed on several internet sites as being bi-polar. He talked openly about his battle with depression as well as addictions to alcohol and cocaine. Being born in 1951, his disease was called manic depression for decades. He’s known for his rapid fire improvisational skills, ability to turn anything into a hilarious monologue or unforgettable character, and dramatic turns in such films as Good Morning, Vietnam, The Fisher King, Dead Poets Society and Good Will Hunting. The last of which, he won a best supporting actor trophy in 1998.
I don’t know what happened to Robin Williams on his Monday. He obviously had a worse one than I. Sadness is what I feel because his torch of genius has been extinguished. There are so few of them left, geniuses, I mean.
He had a wife and 3 kids, just like me. He had people to talk to and a lot of money to hire others to listen. None of this makes him any better or worse than those of us who don’t have the same resources. If anything, it makes us related, held together by the bond of sickness.
I lost count of how many times I cried today. Traveling into the dark hole of hurt is like that. You want to stay by yourself, so the happy people around you won’t be burdened. This is the worst thing you should do, but I do it a lot.
Robin Williams meant a lot to me, and I admired him, for his talent and his brutal honesty of his troubled mind. He made me laugh, he made me cry, and in a way that few others before him could, he made me cry laughing.
I don’t know what Tuesday is going to be like. Maybe I’ll be better. If not, I hope I’ll talk to those who around for me. Then, I’ll find a Robin Williams movie on Netflix or an old stand up routine on YouTube.
If you connect with any this, try to swim through the darkness and find light. Talk to someone. Start by asking them their favorite Robin Williams movie. Just understand that because I, or you, like Robin Williams, make a joke or two, and seem like the like of the party, deep inside, we’re blue……or worse.