I Palindrome I

Unironic rebel flags, velvet Elvis paintings, unprotected hunting knives, a Duck Dynasty racecar, snakeskin everything, and axes, out in the open, for conscientious slashers.

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Being out of my element lifted my doom mood.

*****blogger’s note****

This morning I accompanied my wife and 18-year-old daughter to a rural Georgia Flea Market. I laughed throughout and lifted myself from an exhaustion induced depression.

This is a 33 word piece with 2 palindromes for my friends at Trifecta www.trifectawriting.com. They’re going out of the internet business very soon so please go by and find some excellent writers and good humans.

Here’s the perfect song for this weird post from They Might Be Giants, I Palindrome I.

I wrote two books. They got good reviews. The third one, a sequel to the first, Woman Of Troy, is on the way, next month.

The Ballad of Helene Troy, an underdog story about a female musician in New York City, and Soul To Body, about an ex-1990s guitar player trying to raise his teenage daughter after the death of his wife, her mother, are available, digitally, on Amazon.com for your kindles, and in paperback from Lulu.com

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The Modern Age – Twisted Mixtape Tuesday

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday is back after holiday break. I believe everyone took everything off this holiday. My local radios station were filled with DJs and talk show hosts I’d never heard of and every television show was on hiatus or a best of something with few things I considered “best”.

Jen aka @jenkehl www.jenkehl.com and Kristi aka @findingninee wanted a playlist based on your grandest mistakes or songs that represent your screw-ups. I struggled with this one because my Twisted Mixtapes are always therapy. I’ve used a lot of my tunes from the bad parts of my life. I rocked out and got weird with this one. I’m kind of dark and weird and twisted as is, so here’s more catharsis.

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I Wanna Be Sedated – The Ramones. I picked something from the seventies that represented my hyper-activity and wild nature. I didn’t really want to be sedated but everyone else wanted me that way.

The Eighties – Killing Joke. Kurt Cobain allegedly stole the base line and guitar riff from this song for Come As You Are. Good for him, this song rules and it’s so underrated. I lived through this horrid decade from age 10-19. They weren’t the best of times.

Lithium – Nirvana. If I have to explain this one, then you aren’t a regular reader and that’s okay, but, you may want to click around here a bit, if you don’t mind being frightened.

Cumbersome – Seven Mary 3. The opening line “She calls me Goliath but I wear the David mask” could apply to my relationships then and now. My wife will back me up on this. Plus, I can play the opening riffs on guitar. That’s called self-awareness.

The Modern Age – The Strokes. My outer Julian Casablancas went inner as I became a father and less of a jerk. The Strokes are usually part of my life’s soundtrack. This song is Lou Reed-ish, it’s amazing.

Acquiesce – Oasis. I hope my wife and kids listen to the lyrics, especially the chorus and realize how much I’ve kinda sorta almost become a grown up. This underrated, underappreciated, underplayed Oasis anthem says it all.

Please come see me at my other writing places – music – http://www.raisedontheradio.com – I have a Thursday column and my new politics and pop culture I share with my friends Linda aka @modmomelleroy and Natalie aka @singingfool1224 and others – http://www.leftypop.com. I write on Tuesdays (new post today_ and Thursday) – although I wrote something on the 20th anniversary of Nancy Kerrigan’s knee making some Portland hooligans very angry, yesterday.

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Those gift cards you got for the Holidays? How about using them on my books.

The Ballad of Helene Troy, an underdog story about a female musician in New York City, and Soul To Body, about an ex-1990s guitar player trying to raise his teenage daughter after the death of his wife, her mother, are available, digitally, on Amazon.com for your kindles, and in paperback from Lulu.com

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100 Word Song – I Think It’s Going To Rain Today

We had several triumphant returns to 100 word song this week. Leeroy was excited to welcome Renee http://t.co/bdhe4mbWAH and Troy aka t http://aslongasimsinging.wordpress.com/ back into the fold. If you visit t’s place then you know he’s a Bobby Darin guy. Leeroy and t go back a long time so he asked t to pick a tune for this week and t chose Bobby Darin’s I Think It’s Going To Rain Today.

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I was preoccupied this morning with twin rulings in support of marriage equality by The Supreme Court. The bottom line is, the Court decided to make it easier for gay marriage to happen state by state. As of now, there are no federal road blocks preventing LGBT people to marry. My good friend Kelly aka The Debie Hive aka Wonder Woman of the Internet wrote a really good column today breaking down what the rulings mean http://debiehive.blogspot.com/2013/06/what-doma-and-prop-8-rulings-mean-and.html . DOMA and Prop 8 are dead as fried chicken. It will now be up to the states to decide on marriages. I’m sure my Georgia will wait as long as they can to get things right.

If you have LGBT friends or family, congratulate them. If they live in California, they’ll be able to marry legally in a few weeks. If they live in one of the 38 states that still prohibit gay marriage, tell them to hang in there, societal evolution just sped up for them. For the LGBT people reading this, you’re in my heart. I love you all and this day belongs to you. You matter, your marriages matter, and this country is finally “getting you”.

Soul To Body, my short story about a grieving father with a spunky teenage daughter and overprotective sister-in-law is almost over. We go back to the driveway with Jake and Gus.

Last time:

http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/tightrope-100-word-song/

Augusta turned her back to Jake and yelled to the porch.

“Violet, calm down! The neighbors know enough!”

An empty water bottle dropped from Augusta’s full arms and rolled to Jake’s bare feet. Lost in several thoughts, he kicked the bottle into the road. The sound of plastic hitting asphalt focused him.

“Gus, don’t be unkind to Mallory. She’s scolded…..embarrassed…so, enough.”

Augusta offered her right elbow to her brother-in-law. Jake took it and whispered.

“Remember how Camille bragged her boobs could predicting the weather?”

Augusta rolled her eyes.

“Well, I think she just told me it’s going to rain today.”

My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog

You have 7 days from NOW, to write 100 word inspired by t and Bobby Darin’s I Think It’s Going To Rain Today. Tweet, book o face, smoke signal, pony express, google +, osmosis, and standard U.S. mail your response to as many people as you can. Make sure you use Mr. Linky at the bottom.

Love kicked Hate’s ugly ass today. Celebrate.

Blank Generation

Last week http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/viscious/ , I went over the important cross genre dynamic of glam rock and proto punk. While the seventies saw the bloat and excess of rock music, some acts decided to take the riffs, attitude, and youth culture of the decade, pile of 1950s and 1960s garage band influences and then do their own thing.

Time for part two of 1970s, Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.

The later part of the decade saw three seminal moments that essentially “changed everything”. In 1973, CBGBs and Max’s Kansas City opened in New York City. Both clubs demanded that all acts play their own music. On February 23rd, 1976, The Ramones first record, Ramones, was released and influenced dozens of musicians who would later form bands. Then, on June 4, 1976, British bad boys, The Sex Pistols, played London’s Free Trade Hall, and in the audience were several artists who would later form bands that would matter in American and British music for decades.

Punk music isn’t pretty, it’s only sexy in it’s uncompromising belief system, and sometimes it’s frightening, sonically. But once it gets inside of you, it’s unforgettable and the effects then and now are undeniable.

These are five of the greatest songs, punk and otherwise, ever recorded. I chose 2 American, and 3 British. Make sure to play them all very loud, then tell a friend or fifty about his post. It may change lives like it did mine, 25 years ago, when I first heard this music.

The Ramones – Blitzkrieg Bop. The greatest thing I’ve ever read about The Ramones back to basics rock music, featuring count offs, two minute songs, and pure energy is that “listening to The Ramones first record must have been what watching the atom spilt for the first time was like, because nothing was the same after”. Hailing from Queens, NY and destined for nothing special, Jeffrey Hyman, John Cummings, Douglas Colvin and Thomas Erdelyi put on leather jackets, stood against walls a lot, played faster than fast and adopted the stage names Joey Ramone, Johnny Ramone, Dee Dee Ramone, and Tommy Ramone, using an old Paul McCartney pseudonym. They changed music, forever.
The opening cut from their debut album, Blitzkrieg Bop, sets a tone that alsy created a fire in many musicians that came after them.

Punk was about as much as what you looked like and how you conveyed that as it was about he music. It was about an alternative lifestyle among people who came from little and cared about the same. Richard Hell and the Voidoids weren’t the most famous CBGBs bands or American punk acts, but for one album, in 1977, they put it all together and so many acts that came after, especially in England. Richard Hell was years ahead of the game and Blank Generation is a microcosm of what worked. I love this song.

The Sex Pistols may have only made one album, been more about chaos than music as guitarist Steve Jones famously told journalist Nick Kent, but their record Never Mind The Bollocks in a perfect moment in time. Every song is a classic of the genre and 1970s defining tunes but the most memorable because it’s opening line “I am an Anti-Christ, I am an Anarchist” froma sneering devil child, John Lydon aka Johnny Rotten to Steve Jones brilliant cross-bred guitar work, Anarchy is simply amazing. It never gets old. And screaming “get pissed, destroy” while you’re picking your kids up from school in the carpool line is a life moment that’s indescribable.

It was difficult to choose between the two punk “love songs”, but both The Damned’s New Rose and The Buzzcocks “Ever Fallen In Love With Someone You Should’nt’ve” are punk’s high water marks in irony and musicianship. I went with the Buzzcocks because the message is universal and the song has been cited by so many other artists as influential. Just listen to the lyrics while you pogo. This is the song for you for so many situations. It’s one of the best heartbreak songs, ever.

The Clash is my favorite band. They’ve been called The Only Band That Mattered. Hell and yes on that. While their masterpiece is the double live album London Calling and the title track are the best things they ever did, artistically, that song and album were released is very late 1979 and more like 1980 in America so it falls outside the boundaries of the post/prompt. Their lead single from their first album, Complete Control from The Clash, 1977, says everything that needs to about how they changed the game. You should love The Clash as much as I do. Go listen and get in it.

Go see my sister from another musical mother, Jen at http://www.jenkehl.com and listen and read the great posts about the 1970s. Jen does a terrific job hosting.

Also head to amazon/kindle, smashwords.com or Good Reads and get a copy of my book, heavily influenced by punk music, The Ballad of Helene Troy. It’s also available on Lulu.com or Pound Publishing headquarters (signed) in paperback.

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Machine Gun Blues

Go see this chapter first:

http://thinspiralnotebook.wordpress.com/

Vivian was dead. She knew it and all that was left was her funeral. Four people stood in the living room and she held a laugh at the inappropriate name of the space. Tomas finished twitching and his lips had turned blue. The cyanide was eating his nervous system. The other two henchman were comatose with bullets sealing their fate. The last moment of Vivian’s existence showed in the warm, shaking hand on her arm from her only friend, Pauley. Then Pauley let go to check on her boyfriend, Stan. Now, Vivian was gone to.

Vivian Alves arrived Sao Paulo, Brazil less than a year earlier without a chance to survive. Millicent Stingley always had enough money. Vivian Alves had enough to find a place to live and buy a small business out of foreclosure. Vivian overreached, took money from Tomas and his Sampas criminal organization, and the results of her failed second life were strewn about the house.

Pauley was emotional, more so than Millicent had ever seen her. Small tears formed inside her Pauley’s eyes as she thanked her for saving Stan and killing Tomas. Lenore followed Stan into the kitchen. Pauley and Millicent were several steps behind.

“Vivian, I don’t give you enough credit. But that was….”

Millicent cringed at Pauley’s weak moment, appreciated the admiration, and squeezed Pauley’s nervous hand.

“It’s what friends do, Paulette. Well, friends like us. And don’t call me Vivian anymore. I think you understand.”

Pauley tried to smile, but seemed too exhausted. She let go of Millicent and walked into the kitchen and sat next to Stan, grasping his left arm.

Millicent remained standing and wrestled control of the scene from Stan.

“I don’t need a lecture. I took care of the problem I created. All that remains is a fire, a big damn fire, to turn the Brazilian episode of my life into ash. Maybe I’ve been spending too much time around you gun people, but let me machine gun the rest of this job and take Lenore with me to America. You’ll love San Francisco, Lenore. “

Stan let out a giant sigh and crossed his arms. Pauley squeezed his shoulder and jumped into the conversation.

“Millicent, you can’t go back to the U.S. and you know that. But I think Stan has an idea for Lenore.”

Lenore turned her back to Millicent and leaned into the enterprising couple with the Northeastern accents that fascinated her. She’d dreamed of New York City as a child when her cousin mentioned moving there.

“Mister Stan, Miss Pauley, I can take care of your house.”

Stan let go of an uncomfortable smile and answered.

“I need something more than that Lenore. You are a hell of a shot, you follow direction and have nerves of steel. I think you could do more than clean up and cook.”

Lenore shook her head yes like an energized puppy. Millicent turned and walked toward the basement. She stepped over Tomas’ lifelessness and opened the door to walk downstairs. Next to the lawnmower was a five gallon can of gasoline and garden gloves. She slipped on the gloves and grabbed the gas. By the time she walked up the steps, Pauley was in the doorway shaking her head.

“Millicent is definitely back. Only she would be disgusted by a little gas on her hands.”

Millicent smiled and scooted past her friend. Lenore and Stan stayed in the kitchen going over details of Lenore’s new life. Millicent placed the gas can next to the couch, took off the gloves, and straightened her blouse and hair in a vanity.

“Tell me more your time in Morocco, Paulette. They don’t have an extradition treaty with the United States. But do they have good shopping?

*****blogger’s note****

These are two new chapters of the Brazilian Sequel to Dead Money, the series my friend and writing partner, Tara aka @Tara_R are writing. Go see her chapter first and hang out and read her amazing writing. http://thinspiralnotebook.wordpress.com/

Here’s Social Distortion with Machine Gun Blues.

Barely Breathing

I know what you’re doing
I’ve played your game before
I only lose by telling
My secret song I adore

There’s not much more to say
There’s nothing left to hide
Yeah, i’m being serious
But I’m not revealing why

‘Cause I love Barely Breathing
by Duncan Sheik
No, I’m not kidding
I just showed my freak

*****blogger’s note*****

Ketchup With Us

http://accordingtomags.blogspot.com/2013/01/ketchup-with-us-prompt-11.html Melissa and Michele are good friends with me and my wife, Bobina. They do a bi-weekly prompt where Melissa dresses up like Ketchup and ask for 57 words on a topic. You’d think they’duse Heinz 57, but you know, chicks, This time it was 57 words on something you’re embarrassed to love. I own Duncan Sheik’s self-titled 1996 album. For a music snob, this is am embarrassing fact. But I dig this song a lot. I rewrote it to fit the prompt. The real lyrics are in this video. I can play some of it on guitar. Here’s the Sheik of Sensitivity.

Starting Over

I despaired stress had stole our of Holiday spirit. She wiped our angst spectacularly clean with one sentence, sandwiched in a hug and kiss.

“Save our gift money for a January date night.”

****blogger’s note****

I wasn’t going to write for trifextra http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/ because I’m working on my novel and I was flat out of ideas for the prompt. I was listening to John Lennon songs because he died 32-years-ago, today, then I met my wife at my mother-in-law’s house. We got over our bickering about what to get each other for Christmas when she suggested we do a date night next month. The sentiment matched John’s song, Starting Over.

P.S. – I’m still in competition (for 3 more days) to be
America’s Next Author, with my short story, Italian Radio. I need to finish in
the top 3 to make it to a jury that will decide if I place 1st, 2nd or
3rd. currently, I’m tied for 4th. Please VOTE, retweet, & facebook
share your support. go here http://www.ebookmall.com/americasnextauthor hit
start the battle/battle rounds, vote for ea of the seven matchups including
mine. Thank you.

Couldn’t Stand The Weather

Waves of fear crashed into each other as the channels flared. Amalgamated with misinformation, conversation is battered by a violent storm of hate and confusion. A whore corrupts, but her name isn’t Sandy.

****blogger’s note****

After trying to write other fiction and work on my novel for a couple of hours, I became distracted by Sandy the Storm and other news. I love conversation and the exchange of different, even conflicting ideas. But the way television does it, and some people we know online, hurts us. This 33′s for Trifecta Writing’s “WHORE” – http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/

The perfect song for the night and the times is the late great Stevie Ray Vaughan’s Couldn’t Stand the Weather. I stole his metaphor, composed by him in 1983.

Come As You Are

It’s been a while since I wrote anything that made anyone angry. But about 80 percent of you that come here and honor me with your keyboards are going to get really ticked off.

There’s something the “dashboard” of my blog that allows me to click and see who reads My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog. It shows where the comments, likes, and reblogs come from and I know that eight out of ten people who hang here are female. Well, guess what ladies, I’m a dude, I have testosterone, and while I love you,  I think some things you do, say, think, and promote are craphouse rat crazy.

My house’s doorbell rings a lot, every day. Most of the time it’s little boys ranging in age of five to sixteen, wanting to talk and play with my three daughters, who are eight, nine, and sixteen. A few days ago, one of those boys, who rings my doorbell more than most, shows up on my front porch wanting to talk to Tay. He’s been her friend who is a boy (I don’t use the other word because it will cause robot circuitry to malfunction and people will get hurt) for over two and a half years. He and Tay have been to two homecoming dances, numerous school functions, and even went to Disney World together (with the rest of our family). So they know each other well. Yet, there he was, with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a balloon in the other. He was wearing a Yankees baseball cap, shorts, loafers, a dress shirt, a tie, and a sports coat. As my daughter bounded the stairs she caught me staring at the kid and jumped in the middle of us, swooning.

Really, Tay? A week ago you two were talking about not going to homecoming and now this is a romantic moment even with John Cusack stalking, I mean standing outside Ione Skye’s house, holding a boombox with Pete Gabriel’s In Your Eyes (the light, the heat) blaring?

A few days later, I come home and Tay and and her mother show me pictures of one of her cheerleading friends, whose friend who is a boy delivered her a huge cupcake (I swear Cupcake Wars is the zombie apocalypse) with a tiara on it saying something like, “every Princess deserves a Prince, let me take you to Narnia err homecoming”. Of course the twitter, the book of face and instagram blew up with these pictures. Instagram had to be involved, it was a photograph of food.

Here’s the kicker, and the one that will prove my thesis.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/customs-investigates-alleged-helicopter-homecoming-invitation-144834777.html

A boy, who really is just a friend to a girl, who appears to be really full of herself, had his Customs official daddy fly his helicopter (against regulations) and drop a Teddy Bear to the Ms. Whatever, asking her to homecoming. She gave him a lukewarm “sure”, then the kid bragged on the twitter “wait til you see what I do for prom”.

I hear the words oozing from my eighty percent female audience now, “Oh Lance, these gestures are so sweet and they honor women and you’re just a cynical butthole that needs to listen to Bon Jovi”. I love you all, but shut it.

What’s missing here is reality and actual communication. I did these acts. Well, I never had a helicopter, but I did other stuff, for women who eventually found more interest in dudes that did NOTHING.

I’m glad my daughter’s friend who is a boy, is a good kid that went the extra mile for her. But how about asking her like a man, not a Wal Mart paperback book.

What I’ve noticed in my children and their friends is they don’t do the small things with each other. They don’t talk, wonder, help, comfort or understand. They fly helicopters and make cupcakes, though!

Maybe my daughter and her friend will stay together and this latest romantic act will be a brilliant chapter in their lifetime together. But things like this tend to not last.

I’m romantic with my wife. The woman has jewelry she never wears because we’re busy working and taking care of kids. These boys (and girls) need to be taught communication so that relationships are more real.

*****blogger’s note****

Today’s song is the often misinterpreted Come As You Are by Nirvana. It’s about fake friendships. Turn it up.

100 Word Song-Push

Well, hello everybody! This is Mel from According To Mags. Leeroy is having some technical difficulties… quite literally. His computer circuits are fried. So, I, a mere human was brought in to post for him.

Let’s review! Last week,  Leeroy picked Carrie at -http://museunleashed.com/2012/08/23/100wordsong-stranger/  to do the 100 word song. Carrie’s husband dropped the song from the late great Warren Zevon’s Monkey Wash, Donkey Rinse!

This week, Leeroy trusted me to choose a song. I chose Matchbox Twenty’s ‘Push’. I gave my 100 words below and now I have to clean up the oatmeal raisin cookie crumbs and run. Thanks for having me Leeroy and Lance!

I WANT TO PUSH YOU AROUND

He sat on his couch with the remote in his hand flipping aimlessly through the channels. The motion of the buttons under his fingertips were sensed, but his thoughts were seized by her. Why was his adoration mistaken for deception? Perhaps he should just be what she expected. Her forceful reaction to push him away caused a stubborn counter-action to pull her closer. He knew he had to rebuild her rickety, disregarded structure. And in order to do that, he’d have to strategically place reinforcements to keep her from collapsing entirely. And in the end, she just might feel good.