Good

The world is a cold, dark unforgiving place. The rays of light are so few and far between that when you see one, you want to grab it and hold on for dear life.

When I was a child, the hit cartoon show was The Super Friends. Batman, Superman, The Flash, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, and other DC comics staples got together each week,. and saved the world from another supervillain. My good buddy in Atlanta, Carrie, snarkily chronicles the Superfriends’ career on her award winning blog: http://www.cannibalisticnerd.com/

I don’t think this is possible today. With agents, publicists, hair stylists, wardrobe people, and other hanger ons, no more than two people can get together at a time.

Bono does a fine job of saving the planet. I’ve forgiven Cameroon for the twenty bucks they borrowed from me in 1998. Yet, The lead singer of U2 is but 1 man, and he’s aging.

Brangelina aka Brad Pitt and Angie Jolie are doing good work in New Orleans, and in other countries. The problem is, Jolie’s this close to being the old lady that lived in a shoe. Plus, they are Hollywood. They’ll be divorced soon. They’re kind of arrogant and douchey. There’s not a lot of Jesus pressuring them to be a real couple.

I have THE answer to solving the world’s problems.

Sports and pop culture can be our saviors. We just have to convince the Prince and Princess of Good, Denver Broncos “quarterback” Tim Tebow, and “pop-country star”, Taylor Swift, to be together.

Imagine how quickly and thoroughly crime, hunger, war, pestilence, and snarky hipsters could be eradicated. As my friend John aka @juan_samuel has already tweeted : Tim Tebow is the Taylor Swift of football. They’re not very good at what they do but people worship them. You put all that earnest together and they’d be unstoppable. Think about the perfect little good kids they’d make (having sex only to procreate, of course).  When she saved a country or cured cancer, she could respond with surprise and bewilderment. When he prevented India and Pakistan from blowing up the planet and got them to play some touch football they could all giggle at his throwing motion. This has to happen.

As much as I love edgy, dark, complicated and nuanced, goodness needs a place in my life. My teenager’s walls are already postered with Taylor Swift’s face, song “lyrics”, and accessories. I could probably talk my tomboyish 8 yr old into getting Tebow gear. Plus, Swift already has a hit song called “15″ which is Tim Tebow’s number.

What the world needs for survival and prosperity is a new Superhero. Where are you Taybow!???

Today’s song is from New Orleans band Better than Ezra. It’s the Taybow theme song.It’s about mediocrity and settling in a  relationship—TAYBOW.  Well, we cant have Swift doing the theme. Here’s Good…

I Haven’t Got A Clue

Twenty years is a long time to hold a grudge. Maybe writing this story will make it end.

I don’t care for Halloween. It just does nothing for me. My wife and kids love dressing up, carving pumpkins, trick or treating, watching scary movies, and being on prolonged sugar highs. I go through the motions with them, because they have my love and attention. If i tell the truth, I could live with a horror flick or three and eating my weight in pumpkin pie for a weekend, then calling it all off. I realize it’s a time to not take things seriously, loosen up, and have fun. If you know me, then you understand, I don’t have fun when I’m supposed to.

I enjoyed Halloween as a child. Two decades ago, something happened and I just decided I was made for Christmas and Easter, so All Hallow’s Eve could shove it sideways.

Like a lot of guys, I have an over the top fascination with The Godfather Movie Trilogy. In 1991, I was one of a few people who actually thought the third Godfather film was art. Since I was a teenager I have had people tell me I look like Andy Garcia. When my hair’s long, the tan is deep, and I’m in the right mood, I see what they’re talking about. Andy played Vincent Mancini-Corleone in the third movie. He makes more wardrobe changes than Madonna during a tour. He chews scenery. Mostly, he steals the movie from Al Pacino. For a costume party, I decided I would be Andy’s Vincent. I had to work that afternoon so that wearing everything to the radio station. The suit jacket was wool. The black mock turtle was too tight. I had half a bottle of hair gel slicking my hair.

Despite being uncomfortable, not really costumed but dressed up, and extraordinarily cranky from work and school, I met my friends at the party. I entered the scenario wanting people to “get” my Halloween idea. When people asked if I had just come from Catholic Mass I decided I wasn’t having fun. Then things got out of hand. I drank too much “Halloween punch”, got sick thus ruining a really nice sports coat and found my girl who may or may not have been more than a friend being overly nice to a not very super Superman. That night, and subsequent Halloween disappointments, I have recoiled in horror at the idea that the day and night are anything more than a time for me to be angry and regretful.

I’ve struggled for years with anxiety and how that has clouded my thinking for the most simple things in life. Halloween isn’t anything more than an excuse to let go and laugh. Watching my wife and kids really be excited for October 31st has me thinking that this “holiday” is just an excuse for kids to be kids and grown ups to be kids. When it comes to having fun at the right time, often, I haven’t got a clue.

*****blogger’s note ****

This is my entry into my friends at Write on Edge http://www.writeonedge.com ‘s prompt about Halloween costumes and The Lightning and the Lightning Bug’s Halloween Memory of a “Horror” http://thewriteandthewrongword.blogspot.com/ .

Today’s song was playing at that party in 1991. I’m a Dramarama fan. I enjoy this song every five or so years it crosses my path. I heard it this morning by accident looking for a Soundgarden song. It brought back the memory of twenty years ago. Then, I wrote. Here’s Dramarama’s I Haven’t Got A Clue.