The English Patient

I’m a romantic and it’s not always a good thing. That makes me have uncool choices, especially in entertainment. In the presentation of 30 Days of Shamelessness or as I have rechristened it because of my rampant rule breaking, Humble Pie; here is another example of my extreme oddness.

I  unapologetically love the movie, The English Patient.

It was never in the top five at the box office. It has never been viewed by anyone under the age of 30, I don’t believe. It won 9 Academy Awards, including Best Picture. So, it isn’t cool, right? I mean grown ups with a lot of time on their hands care about a sweeping epic told with the backdrop of World War II. It’s over 3 hours long, shown in flashbacks out of sequence. It features the main protagonists, Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas never smiling, while having an awful affair with a tragic outcome. Why have I seen this maudlin, overblown soap opera, over a dozen times? Because Im a geek for cinematography, plane crashes, burn victims, and people with foreigh accents making moral ambiguity seem pretty.

Most cool people hate this movie. Elaine Benes on Seinfeld expressed the attitude of anyone with a real life. I mean who is going to buy this flick in the age of 90 minute action movies with no plot and naked people? I’ll let Elaine explain;

So, as it turns out, if you watched the Seinfeld video, I’m just like Elaine’s boyfriend and also her boss, Mr Peterman. I liked the desert shots, the melodrama between Juliette Binoche and no thumbed Willem Dafoe. Do I need mention Kristin Scott Thomas washing Ralph Fiennes hair and cheating on her husband, Colin Firth?

Everyone has an accent. No one is moral. Dehydration is shown as a supporting character. At the end of the thing, anyone who has watched it, beside me, has wanted Ralph Fiennes’ character’s lethal dose of morphine for themselves. I love it hardcore.

I can’t get enough of it. It won 9 Oscars. Scoreboard.

I jumped around again. This is number 5 on 30 Days of Shamelessness . I dropped a chick movie that’s over 3 hours long. Top that.

Today’s song is from a band I hung out with in college. They’re from Birmingham and I’ve seen them several times. It’s good straight forward southern rock and roll. Their biggest hit speaks volumes about my confessions on this series of blog posts. Here’s Brother Cane and Got No Shame. I dare you not to rock out to this tune after you hate The English Patient.