Our 97th Dad in the Limelight is Lance B. of http://lance-myblogcanbeatupyourblog.blogspot.com/. I want to thank Lance for being a part of this series. It has been great connected with him and now sharing him with all of you!
Hi, I’m Lance and I have no idea what I’m doing as a blogger or a parent. According to the internet that makes me an expert. I recently turned 40 years old. I divorced in 2006 but remarried a great woman and have three daughters. My day job is a communications manager for a fortune 500 company. My other gig is writing. I have been blogging since 2005. My most well known site was a myspace music blog in 2005 and 2006. My current blog http://lance-myblogcanbeatupyourblog.blogspot.com/ has been running since May 2010. I have a very active twitter account @TLanceB and guest blog on occasion. I am not a fan of the band Rush but the I like the song Limelight. I think that answers the question in two ways.
2) Tell me about your family.
In November, 2008 I married the love of my life, Deana aka Bobina aka @deana_bo on twitter, married her, and blended my family of myself and now 7 year old daughter, with my wife, and now 15 year old and 6 year old daughters. That’s right, I live with 4 women. Even if you are not religious, pray for me. I need it. We adopted a golden retriever in 2009. He’s a boy, but he’s as much as diva as the women.
3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?
When I first became a father, in 2003, with the birth of my now 7 year old daughter, I was clueless. She was born in a difficult time of a difficult marriage and her mother was very sick. I was walking around at 3am, feeding a tiny little girl watching Sportscenter and singing Beatles songs. I thought nothing could be more challenging. Then, after my divorce, I met my wife and two other daughters. I didn’t believe the stepfather horror stories but I thought about them. Everything is working out. We all treat each one as if we’d been around one another since their births. Being the dad of a teenager is very hard. I am blessed with a beautiful, talented, smart, funny, interesting, and special young lady. Her six year old sister is equally as awesome. She’s such a princess. Juggling the multiple families is difficult. Their are mixed messages each child receives. I just try to be as good for each of them as I can be.
4) What advice would you give to other fathers?
I grew up with a great set of parents. They were hard, fair, old school, and loving, even if they didn’t always show it. Every child is different. I have to talk and listen to my kids. Because I said so, and do what I say don’t work like they did when I was a kid. Be their exmaple of what good, fair, kind, and human is. They don’t want you to be perfect, they want you to be you. Don’t lie and don’t be something you aren’t they’ll see right through it. Admit your frailties, tell them what’s expected of them, hold them to that standard and love them when they screw up.
5) Seeing that you (or your position) are in the limelight, how have you come to balance parenthood and outside life? If you are currently not in the limelight per se, please still answer this in regards to how you balance parenthood and outside life.
Work is work, Home is home. My kids know what I do when I am not playing games, barbies, and football with them. I involve them with my writing froma point as using them as muses and relating their experiences and mine into something I can relay to blog readers. My teenage daughter is interested in journalism, a field I worked in a sports and news reporter in the late 80s and early 90s. I talk to her about that, advise her on how to to pursue story angles, and show her my writing when she asks.
If you are judgemental, you will get whatever bad there is in life to receive. There are not only many ways to skin a cat, there are also many wasy to talk about the skinning. Fathers, especially the ones who write, tweet, and blog, aren’t hung up on showing their superiority like mommy blogger are. Instead of internet knife fights about breastfeeding, food preparation and coupon picking, dad bloggers tend to share their stupid mistakes, rational fears, and anxious moments. We are all full of crap, but if out heart is in the right place ecah of us, as fathers, will be what we need to be for our kids in the long run.
If you high expectations, you’ll always be disappointed. If you have low expectations, you aren’t giving you wife, kids, and yourself enough credit and you’ll find only unhappiness. Treat each day like surprise birthday party. I struggle with this philosophy but I;m getting better. Most of all, put your spouse first, even above the children. This will put you and her on the same page in regards to raising the kids. They will see a united front of principled examples.
Watching my girls grow up. My teenager went to homecoming with a boy this past fall. Seeing her so young ladyish was moving beyond words.
Seeing my daughters be compassionate to other people, especially children younger or less advantaged than them has been unbelievable. It’s the stuff they do when they think you aren’t watching that’s the most rewarding.
If you have any questions for Lance, please leave a comment here and I will make sure that he gets them so that he may be able to respond!