Fire Woman


For the first three months of My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog, i wrote to my wife and a few close friends. Literally, it got 5 hits a day, maybe 10 when I talked about them. I decided to reach out to other people who wrote. I’ve believed so many of the horror stories about the innerwebz. It’s all serial killers and felonious freaks, right? When I had a myspace music blog several years ago, I delt with musicians and music business types. I always kept my distance. But last August, so one year ago, I ran across some people and joined their writing communites. No one tried to lure me into their van with candy. I didn’t get a single devil worshiping marriage proposal. Instead, I discovered people who shared my anxiety disorder, liked the same music, and were positively and negatively tormented, as I am, by their art. Now, My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog is rocking 75 hits a day and I have made some excellent friends.

One of those people, Karen, bestowed a blogging award:

Karen’s Canadian which means she has to be funny or she’d be depressed. She doesn’t take herself or her blog seriously. She has a cool family she loves.

I think the rules are I recommend some random number of blogs to pass the award to and tell you things about me. I’ve done similar memes in the past. Karen hates rules as much as I do. So I’ll let you in on your favorite robot human hybrid then suggest some blogs you should be reading because. I’ll see you again in a day or two with some fiction.

1- I like to walk on the left side of people. I feel completely lost and out of sorts walking on the right side. If you see me, and I’m on the right side of someone, know that internally, I’m ablaze with anxiety and doubt and I may explode.

2- I don’t like to wear shorts, even to work out. I have 3 pair of shorts and maybe 2 pair of workout shorts. I don’t put them on unless the workout pants are filthy and/or my jeans are unavailable. I think most dudes look stupid in shorts. My legs are fine, in shape and presentable, I just prefer to show them only on the beach or to my wife.

3- I write EVERYTHING in a notebook with a number 2 pencil THEN transfer it over to computer. What you are reading now was scribbled earlier on paper. I’m old school.

4- I don’t really like food. I mean, I like really good food, but I can skip most meals and be ok. This is the robot part of me. If you told me, tomorrow, that I had to take a pill and never eat food again, I’d be ok. Being married to a chef who obsesses over food is hard for me or maybe it’s hard for her because I say “i don’t care” when she ask me 3 times  a day what we are eating.

5- I like hanging out with women more than men most of the time. I talk a lot. I live with 4 women. Include my mother in law, sister in law, niece, and close friends and I am around as many as a dozen women daily. That being said, every once in a while, I need beer, football, testosterone, and a dude hangout. So if you are reading this and have sports tickets or know a place with good brew, call me. I’m desperate.

Here are places I go for art, laughs, perspective, uniqueness, community, and calm:

Deana aka The Bobina – – my wife and my best friend

Abby – – hilarious and as weird as I am

Chopper Papa – a great guy with a great perspective

JenO- – talented Canadian writer with a good sense of humor

Tara – – she takes beautiful pictures and writes with flair and style.

Jenna –,,, – she writes everywhere with kindness

You know, go look at my blogroll. They’re all amazing. Just read them.

This is also a nod to 30 Days of Shameslessness It’s number 23 – “share a secret”. I shared several.

Today’s song is from The Cult and their underrated Sonic Temple album. This was a college song for me. I played it constantly. It also speaks to some of the great women I know in my house and on the internets. Here’s Fire Woman.


16 thoughts on “Fire Woman

  1. Weirdos unite!
    I always walk on the right side of people, so we would be great friends if we ever went for a walk. However, the fact that you don’t care about food when I never miss a meal or snack could cause a bit of trouble. The fact that you love Fight Club as much as I do might cancel that out though, as long as it doesn’t interrupt my feeding schedule.

  2. Thanks for the follow over at Chosen Chaos! My husband counts his steps and when we’re walking if we’re at a crosswalk and it’s not an even number he’ll take whatever steps necessary to get the even number in his head before crossing. If this doesn’t happen I’ve literally seen him walk back to fix it. The only thing i like to write down is lists, everything else is typed so that one really gets me!

  3. i’d like to know how we are NOT BRR IRL. Even though i’m a girl. I walk on the left side of people, so we’re screwed there. I even sleep to the left of el hubs 🙂
    i only wear shorts on the weekends when im not going to be doing anything, except maybe going in my mom’s attic, or forced to be at the lake all day with work…or nothing else is clean.
    I dont like food either. which is probably why im the only small-ish girl in the world with a beer gut the size of australia.
    NEXT TIME you’re anywhere close to Auburn, let me know, and i’ll take you to the Ale House. Good Brew, good food, lots of sports. I am the antithesis of a girl. Even though I am a girl.
    I generally get along with men better than women. We’d totally be BFF IRL…even though I say shit like that 🙂

  4. Heather aka Sugar Free

    I love that song!! I remember when I was MUCH younger I wanted to marry that guy’s hair. Or maybe that was last week.

  5. maybe you should amend that to: karen has to be funny, or she’d be as dull as a freaking Canadian, ah ha haha ha ha haha…..oh wait, that doesn’t sound good.

    Thanks Lance! You rock!

    Funny–a friend of mine used to say that the internet (and especially myspace) is a ‘cyber asylum.’ I’ll love that statement forever.
    ….he writes everything in a book with a number 2 pencil first…isn’t there a Stephen King character who does that?!? Oldschool indeed. Liked the list, Lance–as always, very interesting.

    • @Karen youre welcome, thanks for considering me over at your place
      @Lori – thank you, hope you can read it better and it encourages you to return
      @SugarFree Heather Hey you! thanks for stopping by. Ian Astbury cause a lot of girl I knew to lose their minds.
      @Cam – thank you…hope you read more as a result

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