Let’s Go Crazy


“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to get through this thing we call life….

electric word LIFE, it means forever and that’s a mighty long time….”

It wasn’t much after 1984, the year Prince’s Purple Rain album was released, that I realized my real talent may be harnessing my neurosis into something palatable for normal people to handle. It took a while, over twenty five years, to reach my goal.

This morning, I walked into a convenience store, anxious for a diet dr. pepper, and freaked out when the cooler showed an empty shelf. So I fired off this tweet:

T Lance B

TLanceBT Lance B

If ur a convenience store out of diet dr pepper then change ur name 2 Satan’s Inconvenience Hellhole That Hates Babies & Puppies
The response was what I expected.

Bree Myers

Bree_MyersBree Myers

@TLanceB well your first issue is the diet dr pepper….. A fridge case full of it seems like the entrance to hell for me 🙂
Tom Ferda

TomFerdaTom Ferda

@TLanceB Last Tweet sure symptom of a DP addict….just saying….
It was retweeted 9 times…I appreciate those people greatly.
Kurt Cobain had heroin, Ernest Hemingway had whiskey; so I have my diet DP…..but they’re dead and I’m trying to get published. Maybe there’s a message there.
Writing every day while suffering through a social anxiety disorder and trying to be a good husband and father is teaching me how to be myself. I’m embracing my ticks and quirks such as needing bad soda, watching football and listening to five or six CDs a day. I don’t think I have addictions as much as I have neurotic tendencies that can be focused into positive ways.
What I’ve learned over the past few years since I went through therapy, rid myself of toxic people, and found some fellow writers that “get” neurosis and mental illness, is, being crazy is a celebration.
I only have one of these things we call life, to live. I’m not going quietly into that good night nor am I changing who I am to be more “normal”.
I don’t have a special place where I write and blog. I kind of do it where ever there’s a space to lay a laptop, some CDs and a diet Dr. Pepper. Today, it happens to me on the couch next to my wife and kids while they watch some teen movie called “Frenemies”. Considering my history with the internets, the movie is more ironic that you all or Alanis Morisette can imagine. 

Consider this post more of a neurotic fist bump as opposed to a weekend ramble.


So “come on baby, let’s get nuts!” Today’s about celebrating who I am and who your are….Let’s Go Crazy…together…thanks for being there for me, fellow crazies… 


40 thoughts on “Let’s Go Crazy

  1. I love this post for many reasons. Okay, you had me at the beginning with the song. But truly, I LOVE it when people are painfully honest, because it can be so easy to believe that every other person on the planet has it together or all figured out. It’s nice when people say they don’t. When they say that they struggle, but they are finding their way and not giving up. Yes, I am a writer. I get where you are coming from with that. But I’m also just another human wading through life. And I think I get where you’re coming from with that even more. As for parenting…none of us know what we’re doing. .

  2. I love the range of music you quote and make reference to. I much prefer people who have a wide range of music tastes to those who only like one kind.

    As soon as i started reading the first line, I could hear the song in my head. I’m an 80s girl.

    Thanks for linking up with me!

  3. Pingback: Diet Pepper Song
  4. oh how i love Prince. did you ever get to see him live? i was fortunate enough to see him on the Alphabet City tour. unbelievable.
    keep the words coming, my neurosis-filled friend. just keep ’em coming.

  5. Neurosis rocks! Well, not really. Not really at all. But it is cool to find out I’m not alone in it, and I’m glad that I share the boat with literate people like you!

    I’d return the fist bump, but I just got my nails did…

  6. I favorited that tweet because I know the exact feeling. Not about Dr. Pepper cause I don’t like DP, but the need for something and the expectation being so great because of the need and then the bitter disappointment of not meeting the need. You’d think I’m talking about something deep but usually it’s things like “I thought this Chinese food dish came with brown sauce but it’s white sauce and now my world is ruined.”

  7. Yeah, I’m pretty OKAY with my neuroses too by this point, Lance. Dr. Pepper is DELICIOUS, but it now gives me heartburn I have discovered. I don’t touch DIET products or anything with Aspartame or the like. Artificial sweeteners were created in Satan’s laboratory. Sugar was created in nature….and refined heavily by man..


    That was exciting when that Prince song came out.

  8. Yeah, I’m down wit dat. The neuroses, that is. Not the Diet DP. My kid and my mom are the Diet DP addicts. The hubs is the Diet Mountain Dew addict. You want weird? I have had NOTHING TO DRINK BUT WATER SINCE 2005. So…. umm… yeah…. not sure what that’s all about…. And the way I figure it, every day is a crazy celebration-slash-celebration of craziness-slash-celebration that I ain’t kilt nobody yet. Oh and fist bump from a fellow social anxiety-er-person. Hubs tried to tell me the day before New Year’s Eve that he invited his friends over for a New Year’s Eve party. I wound up bawling in the fetal position behind a locked bathroom door. He apologized. I took an extra 100 or so mg of Seroquel and dreamed of pink bunnies. It was fun.

  9. My husband has anxiety issues. But therapy wouldn’t do shit. He’s just a nervous guy. His aunt was, his father was, and now he is. We just drove 15 hours to Florida and he sweat about 23 pounds during the drive (Although we had no problems and made great time.) (Weight loss video due out soon!)

    At one point the windshield fogged up and he shrieked that he was going blind and worried his eyesight was going until I leaned over and wiped the window for him. Not much you can do but have booze and valium nearby in case of crisis. But it also makes him my hilarious love monkey.

  10. 1) Now that song’s definitely in my head. But that’s cool because there was something really bad there before (I blame my daughters) that I’ve been trying to get rid of.
    2) I was almost wondering if my husband secretly wrote this post because you pretty much described him. Except he drinks Diet Cheerwine exclusively.
    3) I love Diet Dr. Pepper!

  11. I love so many things about this post I don’t even know where to start.

    Vices, Dylan Thomas, neurotic tendencies, embracing who you are – beautiful. All of it.

    “being crazy is a celebration” absolutely and amen.

  12. It’s funny that you started out with that song. It has been playing in my head since I picked up the phone this morning!

    Life is crazy, everyone has their ticks, quirks and neurosis. Some are better at hiding it than others. Does that make them any less neurotic? No, it makes them a little less human. IMHO.

    Great post!

  13. Diet Dr. Pepper is the prune juice of fidgety women over 50. Are you any of those things?

    To each their own I suppose.. Apparently I can’t live without beer and cheese, so I have nothing to say for myself. I like your punching bags.

    And this post.

    Go crazy. You’ll just be catching up with the rest of us.

  14. I think in some way, everybody has a quirk or weird thing that makes us all a bit crazy. Some more than others.
    What most people can’t do is recognize their issues and embrace them as you have. Something I’m still working on.

  15. I heart you for your unbridled love of DDP. I too wish the 7 layers of hell on those who would be so lame as to run out. I neeed it! It’s my medicine!

  16. DDP was my beverage of choice for years. I finally had to go off cold-turkey when I fired off a belch that nearly blew the windshield out while chauffeuring my stepson to the amusement park. That was 16 years ago. He has not forgotten…nor have I.

    Satan’s Inconvenience Hellhole, indeed.

    Yours in DDP solidarity, *fist bump*

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