The Way It Is

Blogging is therapy. If you don’t think so or you don’t realize it, then you’re doing it wrong. There is no difference in typing out your words, hitting publish and getting response versus sitting in a comfortable chair in front of someone who doesn’t really know you and talking.

I don’t understand people who write under pseudonyms, have multiple online identities, or play characters on Al Gore’s internets. I’ve done it before. I was wrong and I felt stupid. I don’t blame any of you or have ill feelings. There are people who are abused and write to escape their horror. There are others with judgemental jobs or family members and they type under a shield to experience the freedom they need to survive. Good on all of you.

If My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog is about anything, other than serialized fiction, then it’s about me and my changing perspective as I grow up. Twenty years ago, Wall Street was my favorite movie. I idolized Gordon Gekko, played by Michael Douglas. His speech to Teldar Paper, where he drops “Greed is good”, was something I mimicked and spoke verbatim in exuberance. Now, it makes me ill. I still like the film, but, currently, my favorite line comes from Martin Sheen’s character Carl Fox. When his son, Bud, played by Charlie Sheen, lectures Carl for not being more greedy and savvy about the real, cruel world around them, Carl says this:

“I don’t go to bed with no whore, and I don’t wake up with no whore. That’s how I live with myself. I don’t know how you do it.”

There’s no scandal inside My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog. The title is ironic, unless you’re a whore. If you are, then, yeah, my blog can slap you around.

I love writing. It makes me feel alive. I’m more proud that this place is authentic to who I am and what I value, the way it is.

***blogger’s note***

Although personal, the word scandal is used so this is my response, a weak one they’ll think, I’m sure, to my friends at Trifecta Challenge

scan·dal noun \ˈskan-dəl\

3 a: a circumstance or action that offends propriety or established moral conceptions or disgraces those associated with it

I’m an unashamed fan of Tesla. Today’s song says a lot about where my head’s at, right now. Here’s The Way It Is. Blow a speaker.

48 responses to “The Way It Is

  1. Lance,

    First, we just watched the sequel to Wall Street the other night. It was decent, but I’m not a good with all that investment, stock, and trade talk, so I tried not to feel dumb. :) Decent acting, though.

    Second, this is a great way to use the word scandal. I like how you set it up before you presented the word. A definition of it by examples. Great work. Very heartfelt post. I liked this one a lot.

  2. I can’t get my husband to understand this! He just thinks I’m after attention. My goal in life is to be a published writer, so to that extent, yes, I suppose. However, writing is my outlet. It is what keeps me sane some days. The words coming out of my fingertips DON’T come out of my lips and that is very good for some people some days. It’s also cheaper than my co-pays when I go to real therapy. I heart you.

    • Don’t get me wrong. The traditional therapy is the best route. Having someone with Doctor in front of their name and a clipboard in their lap is best. They do great work. But writing is cheaper and another form. Thanks Karen.

  3. Amen. I actually have a draft of a post about authenticity and blogging, but I feel funny posting it, so it will probably sit in my “drafts” for awhile while I just read and comment on yours. I don’t like drama. It’s exhausting.

    • post it anyway. we’ll have some laughs. Thanks Abs. You’re so authentic, you’re like hipster real. You real before it was cool to be real.

  4. I’m with Abby, I don’t like the drama and so I tend to stay away from the stuff that will cause it, BUT if it makes any difference: You, your blog, your 100 songs and your writing have made me better as a person, blogger, and writer. It’s an honor of mine to write anywhere near you Lance.

    • that;’s high praise. You are one of the nicest human beings ever allowed on the interwebz. I even allowed you to Jeff Starship us. HA! thanks K, you’re the best.

  5. On my About Page, I tell how blogging saved my life. It’s not being funny, I’m not thinking I’m being cute: I’m telling the truth.

    I have found people for the first time in my life who get me.

    At my age, I feel authentic. Finally.

    I can’t say enough about the therapeutic effects of blogging.

    I often think that depression can be ameliorated with the contact and release of blogging. I think how I”d like to take it to nursing homes/ assisted care facilities, kids in trouble: we all want a voice, to be heard, to have our golden moment to tell our story.
    It’s true.

    And it’s no understatement.

    Blogging can save lives.

    It took me from a lonely woman to one that smiles and laughs and has brought a delightful person into our home: blogging gave my children a mom who is happy.

    We all want to belong to a larger collective, have someone get us, have someone know we are here.

    Blogging: tremendous.

    Love your post. LOVE it.

    • Thanks empress. I didn;t even know you checked out my non Sprocket Ink stuff. so I’m honored. I’ve read your about page and it;s the reason I’m a fanboi of yours. Thank you for the kind words and the realization that aunthenticity is so important.

  6. I must admit, I write under a pseudonym. Mainly because when I started blogging I had a lot of icky stuff I needed to air. Stuff too sensitive for people to know me to find out. Plus I went underground because initially I blogged openly. At that time I had a rather public’ish job on a highly popular racecar team. People, strangers, approached me in the pits wanting to meet me because of the blog. After 2 years of this, I ended up censoring myself too much. My blog became so boring!

    So I quit that blog, made up a name (Nikki Rules – I guess I was trying to create a strong persona!) and then the dirt came out. Dirt from regret of doing stuff I never should have done. Most of that content is now pulled, I guess I got the therapeutic effect from it. At one point I was thinking of changing it all to my real name, and most of my readers recommended I left it all as is. Slowly people I really know are now aware of my blog and my “multiple personalities”. Trust me, its wearing me out to have to log in and out of all these accounts and to remember who is what! There is my roller derby profile and my blogger profile and the real me profile to keep my family up to date on my travels…

    I just want to be me. I’m tired of all these faces I need to switch around like carrying a bagful of masks…

    p.s. I receive your posts daily, read them in my inbox, but today I finally came out of my shell and actually posted a comment! ;)

    • weird, i read you ALL the time and I should start commenting. I think you can be authentic in a persona but it’s hard. It’s not something I AM good at. You and Vinny rock it. I have no criticism of that. None. In fact, i tried the whole robot deal when i first started and it turned into a joke.

      Thanks for commenting Nikki. You have my word I will return the favor.

      • Muchas gracias Lancito (can you tell I’m in Mexico?) have I ever mentioned after watching Fight Club the 1st time I became highly addicted to Chuck’s writing. Not sure how many of his books I’ve read yet, but maybe he needs to write a rockin’ book called Amazon Elixir… or maybe not. But have you ever wondered how he and Tarantino would put out the best movies ever? So at first you wrote as a robot? Love your rockem sockem dudes in your header btw… Maybe Stretch Armstrong needs to hold them together! Ha!
        p.s. thanks for the replie and the comments, much appreciated! *giddy*

  7. Lance…power to you and to your evolution…right there with you! Had the house, the cars, the picket fence…but when the time came to sell my soul to keep them, I took the higher road and started sharing my poetry. All me…take it or leave it…(in a business oriented family…the real me has not been embraced…but they tolerate it!) And as for the song choice…”Love Song” was the first song I ever sang in front of an audience…always love your posts…but I think I’ve found a new favorite! Rock on!

    • we’ve talked about our pasts and our presents ebfore. to say we’ve lived parallel lives is redundant. Thanks, tasha, for being such a writing champ and friend.

  8. I used to blog about my family and daily life. Had a whole other space. And then the privacy concerns crept up and my husband started griping about me blogging all the time blah blah blah. So I took a break and realized I missed writing. I really enjoyed sending my thoughts out into the world. So Views started more annonymously and I kept all reference to family out. Now it is primarily a fiction blog with some book reviews and other things tossed in to keep it interesting.

    I don’t have a lot of “real life friends” That’s the beauty of the internet. Maybe we’ll never meet in RL but I think of you as a friend. I value your opinions on my stuff. And shouldn’t that be the point of all this? The world is crazy busy with so many things sucking up our time. Maybe it’s a little weird but this is life in the 21st century dammit.

    As for my place on the interwebz, I like it but I’m tired of the name…and look. I need a new blog name, something that screams “Writer Lives Here”…but I don’t want to make such a drastic switch people wonder what the hell happened, ya know?

    • Carrie, we are friends and we value each other’s opinions. I like your blog. I admit I was expecting a photography joint when I started reading a year ago. That’s your call. I don’t call you and our community internet friends. we’re friends, period.

      • LOL, yeah that whole ‘nature’ reference probably has a lot of people thinking its a photog blog :) See, I need to re-brand!!

        Maybe my vacation will give me time to plot and think of a change…

  9. Great use of scandal. Although I admit I hide online. A lot to think about after reading what you wrote. Your blog can absolutely beat up my blog. I admire your openness. Maybe one day (after I work through my contradictory fears of people & not being liked by people “please, oh please, like me! Just do it from way over there. Thanks.”) I can be more open. Wow! That was some therapy.

    • as i told the great Nikki Rules and Vinny. I’m talking intellectual honesty more than your name. I mean I have a last name but I don’t print it here.

      again, your blog is pretty straight forward and honest. I love it.

      Yes, this was therapy. You have no co pay, it’ll be 60 bucks please

      • Oh wow – what’s the online version of slipping out of a restaurant? (Not that I would ever do that because I used to wait tables & it sucks to have to pay for a customer’s food) So um, paypal? :-)

  10. I’ve written as myself using my own name since 2008. It never occurred to me to use a pseudonym or blog anonymously until about a year or so ago. It just dawned on me that I have a lot of shit to talk about that I would rather some people not know about me. I’m not completely anonymous on my GIM blog, just seperate. Honesty has certainly never been a problem for me, but there are certain things that certain people really, really do not need to know ;-)

    • you’re so honest at both places that you are the exception to every rule. You are one of my favorite human beings ever on the ebz. you rule with the words. and now, thanks the book o faces, our families know each other.

  11. A hearty, resounding yes or amen or whatever works from me. :)
    Blogging challenged me and reminded me of how much I love to write. While I worried about revealing too much I kept going. Because I just had to. It looks like you ‘suffer’ from the same problem and we’re better for it.
    Love this post.

    • Writing is just like working out. If you do it every day, you’ll get stronger, feel better, and have abs…or something?

      I write because I have to but it was my wife who said, “honey, take credit for your words” so I attached Lance to this thing.

      thanks Heidi. Your blog is inspirational

  12. oh no k, you took it the wrong way. in fact I said, that i understand why some have to, it’s just not for me! what i meant by that line in wall street is i try to be authentic all the time. You, Vinny, and Nikki all do a great job of writing real under a pseudonym. I just suck at that.

    I think you’re great

    • Sorry Lance, Sometimes the pause button doesn’t work on my mouth/keyboard.

      Consider this a humble apology for misunderstanding what you said, and equally a sign that I need to go for a walk, outside, away from the screen I have been staring at for the last 10 hours.

      Sensitive… yep, I am that too. (blushes and scampers off).

  13. Weak how? I think you’re making a powerful point about why you do what you do. It seems to be in the air, and unlike poor Lisa, I don’t have to offer to dump legos over your head. You know you are writing, and you know that you are a writer.

    And seriously, a facebook post that said “I don’t go to bed with no whore, and I don’t wake up with no whore”? That would have been awesome.

  14. You are totally right- blogging is therapy. I didn’t realize it until I was about a year into it, but when something was bugging me, I’d blog about it, and the process of writing helped me figure out a solution. Or the real problem. Either way, it helped.

    Great insights. Thanks!

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