Tighten Up


Last time on Soul To Body: https://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/youcantcountonme/

Jake waited for Mallory outside Starbucks. The warm air and light breeze felt familiar. He closed his eyes and let the memory wash over him.

“Jake, this moment is perfect.”

Camille threw her arms around his neck and brought him into her lips for a long, passionate kiss in the parking lot of the Atlanta airport. He bumped the back door of his green Jeep closed as their mouths engulfed each others. She pulled away and they exchanged wide smiles.

“Yeah, Camille, this weather’s amazing. I’ll take the tops off for our ride.”

She tossed her bouncy blonde hair and laughed. He peaked at the white g-string sneaking out of the back of her blue jean shorts as she reached for her backpack.

“No, Jake, I meant this moment in our lives. We’re free, loose and in love. We could go anywhere, do anythin’, be anyone we want. Isn’t is excitin’?”

Camille’s easy southern drawl made him melt.

He opened his eyes to the sound of Mallory dropping her keys on the sidewalk. They leaned down at the same time, bumping heads. Mallory fell back on her rear end. Her bag flew off her right arm. Its contents scattered over the concrete.

“Mallory, I’m sorry.”

Jake gathered makeup and a date book. He reached for what looked like a pill bottle. Mallory shouted.

“No, don’t!”

The togetherness she’d shown through before was replaced by a nervous negative energy. Her face tightened. Jake squinted at the medicine container as Mallory shoved in her bag. He saw at least two Xs in the name.

“It’s okay, Mallory. You don’t need to worry.”

She finished putting her handbag together. Mallory ran her shaky hands through her long red hair.

“I apologize Jake, I get flustered around you and I wanted to…..”

Mallory looked defeated. Jake knew he had the opportunity to walk away and go home to his daughter. Yet, he ignored instinct to make her feel better.

“I know what you wanted.”

He stepped toward her. Their faces were inches apart. Jake ran the backs of the fingers on his right hand through her hair and down the right side of her blushing face. Mallory closed her eyes and Jake kissed her thin lips. It was awkward as their mouths searched for each other. He squeezed her face and tried to fight the previous memory of so many years earlier in the airport parking lot. This one, outside Starbucks, would have to do, for now.

****blogger’s note****

After a two week break, this is a new story episode of Soul To Body. You can find the rest of the story, so far, here: https://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/soul-to-body/ This is also in response to Write On Edge’s Choice and Consequences prompt: http://writeonedge.com/2012/05/red-writing-hood-choice-and-consequences/ Obviously Jake makes a choice to follow through with Mallory.

Today’s song works great lyrically and thematically. Plus I just want to play The Black Keys. Here’s Tighten Up.

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41 responses to “Tighten Up

  1. Yeah, I knew when I saw the titled there better be some Black Keys rockin’ up in here.

    You’re makeout scenes always make me blush. Maybe because you’re a guy writing them. Strange.

  2. I too, am remembering to uncheck the box, and I as well wish Jake had run – Mallory is starting to feel more and more like an ill-fitted memory place holder. That, or Jake really needs some closure before returning to Love’s table.

  3. Ah, Jake sighs Mallory’s just not good enough for you, but I guess you have to break your ties to the past somehow. Just remember to go slowly, this girl, well, she’s a tad bit dangerous ;-)

  4. I don’t know..I’m a big believer in good things happening in unexpected places. Does Mallory care for Jake…if she does I hope he knows how to make the good stuff happen.

    I loved the memory of Jake and Camille loved how his memory was sweet and lusty.that part was written just right.
    I wish I could find a problem here but you know me , I see you (or anyone for that matter) write such good romance and I’m a soppy mess.

  5. Okay, I’m just not feeling this relationship at all. It feels wrong and forced and I think even the author might agree ;) when you write the scenes with flashbacks to Camille its so much stronger, more emotion. But with Mallory it’s clunky. Kinda like their relationship. Maybe I still can’t get past the fact Camille was the love of his life ( or so it seems) and she’s only been gone a short time, wasn’t it about 3 months? He should still be grieving I think.

    FYI, you can save everyone the ‘uncheck the box’ grief by going into your settings. Last menu, click discussion and then scroll down to uncheck the ‘follow comments’ box option

    • Totally agree, but can’t help but wonder if that’s the point. He’s trying to fill the void and doesn’t realize yet that it’s impossible.

      It’ll be interesting to see what happens when he comes to that conclusion….

    • sorry you didn;’t like it. there’s a point to the clunky. he’s lonely. that does crazy things to grieving men. self autobiographical note.

      • It’s not that I don’t “like it”. It’s more the relationship is just rubbing me wrong…I want happy things for the poor guy I guess. No one wants to stand by and watch the train wreck.

        Guess I just have to stand back and let it happen. :)

  6. I love the contrast between the easy warmth of his relationship with Camile and the the clunky moments with Mallory.

    Alarm bells went off for me when she got all flustered. She was cool as a cucumber in previous scenes. I do not trust that woman.

    One minor “editorial” thing, when they bump heads, you say Mallory fell on “his” rear end, instead of “hers”.

  7. Editorial: “Mallory fell back on HER rear end.”

    I love the opening memory of Camille – feels so easy and free. A great comparison to the relationship with Mallory – which doesn’t feel quite so easy and he seems to have resigned himself to her. Interested to see where this goes.

  8. Ooh, so awkward, trying to fill in the present lover with memories of the past one! Love the details that make Mallory so awkward (compared to Camille)–the thin lips, the shaking hands, the nervous energy (though I’d rather more detail on that point than you just telling us “nervous negative energy.” Did she cross her arms? Is there a twitchy thing she does when she’s nervous?) So well written, though, Lance. Enjoyed this!

  9. What a fantastic contrast you present between Camille and Mallory. I don’t really like that Jake is choosing Mallory for now and I have a feeling that in the end Mallory may get hurt. I love this story and can’t wait for more.

  10. I think you did a great job here! I also love the contrast in the relationships with Camille versus Mallory. For some reason, the flashback momentarily confused me with this piece. They haven’t with others I’ve read so I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s just me this time. Once again, a well done post.

  11. Oh god, one of my worst fears. Someone pretending to care when they don’t really, or settling for me, when they’re thinking of someone else. Well done with the male observations, and also the ways men and women communicate – the way he thought Camille was talking about the weather.

  12. A lot of times people ‘settle’ for someone, or resign themselves to a particular relationship, because they are lonely or looking for something or because they think that they must be with someone. Sometimes all three. But does he feel sorry for her, too? She seems to be trying so hard!

  13. I like differences between the parts about Camille and Mallory… You get a good sense of how he feels about both women and the differences in their relationships, even if you don;t already know. His meeting up with Mallory again feels…dangerous, I guess. It’s ominous for sure.

  14. Pingback: Violet « My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog

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